philosophy at age eight

“If you cannot control your peanut butter, you cannot expect to control your life.”
~ Judah-ism

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

cats allowed... or not

As I mentioned in my last post about our new place, the restriction we've been under for the last 2.5 years is off, and we are free to get another cat.  But the problem is... I honestly can't make up my mind whether I'm willing to do so.  I go from a moment of rabid excitement, in which I can't wait for the 21st to roll by so I can get myself an adorable, snobby, petulant piece of furry heaven, to the next moment in which I keep flashing on the horrible night when we lost Koomyn, and the absolute conviction that it's not worth going through that pain again. Three years+ worth, which I can't think of without crying. I am, yes, at work right now, and saw something that made me think of cats and vets, and there I go... tearing up for the last ten minutes, trying to distract myself with paper cuts and oh, actual work.

But since I'm here, writing about it... it's obviously not working. It's on the brain an awful lot this last week or two.  And this quandry is absolutely driving me bat-fuck crazy.

Wanna kitty!! ... don't wanna kitty :(  ... WANNA kitty!

What should I do?  Anyone have any advice?

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