philosophy at age eight

“If you cannot control your peanut butter, you cannot expect to control your life.”
~ Judah-ism

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

for those i love who hate facebook

Random facts:

1. The thing I hate most about my body is the fact that you can see every tiny little vein under my skin, because it's so pale it's, apparently, translucent. I used to think I was born with varicose veins until someone explained what they really were to me.

2. I grew up singing duets and melodies with my mother and sister whenever we were in the car together. I still hum counterpoint melodies under my breath to songs if I think no one's around.

3. I am one of those people who feel very uncomfortable sharing personal details about themselves in the workplace.

4. My reading list reads like a teenage boy's: manga, sci-fi and fantasy.

5. I've been writing fiction since I was 11 years old, and my first story was supposed to be a trilogy. (Fail)

6. I started writing my own stories when my mother took away my latest book in an attempt to try to get me to do my chores. I decided to defiantly disappear into my room and begin writing my own book, thank you very much.

7. Now that I am a mother myself, I wish to humbly beg my mother's forgiveness for being such a freakin' bitch. Sorry, mom; really.

8. I turn stress inward and create a mean acid-ball in my stomach. If anyone needs pointers on the various uses of Mylanta, I know none. I hate the stuff. I'd rather walk hunched over and grumble incessantly (see #12).

9. If I had to pick a single store to buy all my clothes from, it would be Anthropologie.

10. I have a shoe obsession. The ratio of how many shoes I own, versus how many shoes anyone else in my family owns, is criminal. About 10:1.

11. I love almost nothing more than walking on the beach, collecting shells (for which you need special shoes, nah-hah). I never want to move away from the water.

12. I am a big, fat whiner.

13. I've never lived in a single house or apartment for longer than 2 years.

14. I haven't a motherly bone in my body. Or molecule.

15. If I could study anything formally, it would be world cultures. I resent that I will be old by the time I understand anything profound about all the cultures in the world. There are too many of them, and I want to visit them all.

16. I've watched more Korean, Japanese or Taiwanese television shows than American ones.

17. I am an idealist. (Hence, I despise reality or reality-based television shows.)

18. I typically won't educate myself about politics because I end up getting enraged. And then I just want to move to France or Norway. It feels masochistic.

19. I predict libraries will soon have "e-readers" instead of library cards, and library books will all be electronic that you can download for 14 days. I think Neal Stephenson should design the prototype.

20. I've been romantically involved with the same person for over half my life.

21. I absolutely love the atmosphere of Jazz from the Roaring 20's.

22. I'm far too lazy to wear nail polish.

23. When I laugh, even a little, my eyes start watering like I'm crying.

24. I am to living plants as toxic waste is to that person in the punctured protective suit. Slowly but surely, I kill them. It may be fast, or it may be drawn out and dirty, but they're dead, regardless.

25. My dream job is to own a bookstore, or be an editor for sci-fi/fantasy authors.

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